Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
it's great music for shaving your balls
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I just found a bag of teeth...
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
