just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
i think my cat just said my name.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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