So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
