i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize