he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
