that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
