He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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