I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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