tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Randomize
