If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
