Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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