I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
whose parrot is this?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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