will power is for people who don't want to get laid
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
