FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
