Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
