I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
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I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
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This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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