just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
