I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
