'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
