so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
