This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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