Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
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he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
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i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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