oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
God, I missed his penis.
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