billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
