I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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