(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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