Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
