Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
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yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
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Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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