i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
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