So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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