i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
ok first of all what the fuck
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
