My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Randomize
