Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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