kristin has been a bad kristin
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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