then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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