i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
