But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
She's JV to your varsity
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
My breath smells like gin and sadness
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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