She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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