I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
