Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
