Define "chronic" masturbator.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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