Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
