he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i dont even know how to be here
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
