don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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