he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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