I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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