I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
