im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
