Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
