you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
