A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
