this beer tastes like vomit already
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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