thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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