4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
