His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
