thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
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