My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
