U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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