So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Randomize
