Don't you send me to vm
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Still dying that you shit outside
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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